Disappointing... Disappointed

I stuffed up majorly last night. Due to my own bad mood I made Cel mad, which is just very poor form from my part. I hope she can forgive me.
And so begin a new year and I’m still so emotional. So easily be messed up. In hindsight I wonder would it really have been so hard to stay at the party and pretend to be happy for only another two hours…
To be honest I really don’t like the whole new years eve/new years thing. Too much expectation for it to be fantastic. To me, it’s really no big deal whether I’m at a massive party or at home and going to bed early. It always quite an effort for me to really relax and enjoy myself at NYE parties. Maybe I just don’t have that party gene in me.
I think its much more important to have fun during the year and not force it.
I hope you’d understand Cel and please forgive me for disappointing you.
As for the other ppl, I think its time for me to wash my hands of them. When something isn’t there anymore, there’s no point pretending it is if it is so upsetting to be disappointed time and time again.